Pre-op Diet: Day 2

So I survived the first day.  I was SO proud of myself.  Today wasn't bad either.  I'm actually in a very good mood.  Could be because I'm off on Monday.  And my very best friend Tricia and I are taking our 12 year old boys to a water park this weekend.  And you know what?  I'm getting into my swimsuit and I don't care WHAT I look like.  Because I will never look like this again.  I'm going to enjoy myself, which I rarely do because I'm so dang worried what I look like.  I was a little stressed about 'what I would eat', but Tricia's mom had her surgery about 6 weeks ago and she helped her a lot, so she'll be able to help me too.  I don't want to be one of those "I need my chicken grilled with no butter.  NO BUTTER.  Just slap it on the grill with nothing else and I'll choke it down, don't you worry."  But if I have to, you bet I will.  Gotta get that liver into shape.  I plan to take my breakfast and protein shake stuff with me, then I'll get some sort of grilled meat and steamed veggies wherever we wind up.  I think I could even do a grilled chicken sandwich with no bun and no condiments, if I get desperate.  Or perhaps another shake?

6/28/2013 Data

Weight:  290.2
Exercise:  20 minutes of walking
Food Diary:

Pre-op Diet: Day 1

So yesterday was the first day of my Pre-op diet.  I really thought it would be awful.  Horrible.  And I might want to kill someone.  But it actually wasn't too bad.  I had already stopped drinking sodas (that's pop to some of you) a few weeks ago and dropped caffeine (i.e. coffee) completely about a week ago.  So I think if I had done all of that at the same time, I would have died.  Or someone else may have.  Not naming any names though.

I really felt so much better than I expected to.  It almost makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong.  But I'm following the plan religiously.  Any time the slightest thought comes into my head about eating something 'not on the list', I remind myself of the doctor looking at my liver on the day of surgery and I know that HE will know if I followed the diet or not.  So I'm sticking with it. 

I'm a list person for sure, so I typed this up to help me keep track of what I "could eat".  I thought this was better than whining about what I could not eat.  Plus, I just love to check things off:

6/27/2013 Data:

Weight: 290.6
Exercise: 20 minutes of walking (with both boys!)
Food diary:  NOTE - the "Snacks" section is all 3 daily protein shakes added together.  I mix them with almond milk.  And the "Goal" numbers are left over from a previous diet, so just ignore those. 

This is it. The time is now.

I was a normal, average sized kid. Until my family moved to the "country" when I was about 10 years old and I was stuck at the house by myself a LOT. I wasn't really an outdoorsy person, so I ate. What else was there to do? I don't really remember being taunted or teased in school (at least to my face!) and I had lots of friends, but never any boyfriends. Nope, no prom date for me. I do remember losing about 15 pounds the summer before my senior year by existing on diet coke and tuna fish (yuck!) but I was still almost 200 pounds before graduation. After that, I pretty much stayed off the scale until my early 30's.

I am so very lucky to have found a man that loves me no matter what my size (thank God they're still out there), but when my oldest son turned 2 in 2002, I decided to try Weight Watchers. I was quite successful for a few months, lost 30 pounds (down to about 247) then we went on a trip to Seattle and I couldn't pass up all that good food, so I fell completely off the wagon, gained it all back and then some. The next time I stepped on a scale was in fall 2005 when I was pregnant with my second son. At two months pregnant, I was already 292 pounds!! I absolutely could not bear hitting 300 pounds, so I was fairly strict with my eating and only gained 6 pounds total, just barely missing that scary number on the scale.

However, that would not last....my "Oh My Lord" moment came in April 2009 when I visited the doctor for various ailments (bad knees, bad hip, you know the drill...) and the scale said - you guessed it - 300 POUNDS!!!! Wow, how did that happen? I was so, so ashamed and I told the doctor I would do anything to drop the weight. He put me on Nutrimed 420, which is a very low calorie, mostly liquid diet. Man, I was totally in the zone. I was so "good" on the diet, really watched what I ate, and lost 50 pounds by August. Then I had some minor surgery, "rewarded" myself by eating what I wanted, and watched 35 of those pounds creep back on. I couldn't bear the thought of going back to the shakes 4 times per day, so I've been looking for the "magic pill". Well, sadly, Oprah is right. It ain't out there, because otherwise she would have it.

In 2010, I got back in the "zone" and did Weight Watchers for several months.  Then I was turned onto the HcG diet by a friend.  Now, this was the real deal....I paid a LOT of $$ to go in each week to get a B12 shot, then gave MYSELF shots every day.  Yes, I said shots!  But you know what, it worked.  I was really not that hungry and was existing on about 500-750 calories per day.  I know it sounds crazy, but it was desperate times, people.  From January to July of that year, I lost 70 pounds!!!  I weighed 217 and I looked GOOD y'all!!!  I was able to walk into Old Navy and buy size 18 clothes.  I couldn't believe it.  I was so happy with how I looked, how I felt, you name it.  But then it was time for vacation......  

That's right, folks.....road trip to Minnesota.  But I planned.  I really did.  I packed healthy snacks and drinks for the road and had the very best intentions.  But man, those restaurants we stopped at had SUCH good food.  And it was just this one time.  Until the next time.  And the next.  Then we made it to MN and I even went so far as to buy my own food and actually ate it among the tables and tables of 'good stuff'.  I walked a few days.  Tried to stay active.  But by the time we hit the road for the trip back home, that was all she wrote.  I decided to 'reward' myself for being so good.  And I rewarded myself very, very well.  Each month, I'd put on a few pounds and say "it's ok....it's only 5 pounds".  But man, they really add up fast don't they?  I don't remember how many months it took me to put it all back on.  But I did.  And it was really disappointing.  And finally I decided - maybe I'm just meant to be be big.  So I didn't really watch what I ate, didn't exercise, didn't get on a scale.  And somehow I've managed to stay under the big 3-0-0.  But just barely.   

Over the past couple of years, several of my friends have had the Vertical Gastric Sleeve surgery and have done very well.  I looked into it back in the fall of 2011, but I wasn't ready.  However, I went to lunch in on Memorial Day with one of those friends, Mandy, and she said "why don't you look into it again?" and I thought "why not??".  

So here I am today.  Within the past month, I have gone to the informational seminar, met with Dr. Mason, had my psychological evaluation, met with the dietitian, attended the 4 hour nutrition class and got my final approval from the insurance company.  The total estimated cost of this surgery is $14,000, but thankfully my insurance covers it and I'll pay about $3,400 out of pocket.  That may sound like a lot, but let me tell you.....over the years I have tried Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, HcG, Hypnosis, Nutrimed 420, Medi Weight Loss (which costs a FORTUNE!), so I have probably spent that $3k several times over.  This is it for me.  And thank God for my amazing husband Dan and my two boys Hunter and Zac.  They are so incredibly supportive of me.  And I love them more than they'll ever know. 

Let's do this!

I'm going to track what I eat everyday and post it here for myself and whoever else might be interested. I hope that by writing down my thoughts each day, it will help keep me focused and on track. I'm also going to post my weigh-in each Sunday morning.  And I'm going to just rip the band-aid off and post my before shots here.  There's nothing to hide.  People can tell how big I am.  I mean....LOOK at me!

Current Weight:  293, give or take a few pounds.